Viatouch Teacher Articles
Psychology

Living with Chronic Shyness
by Geary L. Smith

"It is not a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream. It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal, but it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture."—Dr. Benjamin Mays

When I was about 9 years old, I had the opportunity to meet the great Dr. Benjamin Mays, an African-American minister, educator, scholar, social activist, and the president of Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia. Years later as a student at Morehouse College, I learned that he was the mentor and teacher to many students. His most famous student was probably Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Dr. May's quote above is still true today. Shyness however, can stop you from trying to fulfill your dreams and goals in life. I do not mean being nervous in giving a speech before a crowd, or meeting someone for the first time. I mean a chronic shyness that will stop you from trying, when you are highly capable of succeeding.

A sign that something was wrong

My shyness started in high school in my junior year when I was required to take speech. I got up in front of the class and gave a short speech, but when it was all over, I was terrified. I had sweaty hands, shakes, stomach "butterflies", and a feeling of panic. These symptoms would continue into my college years.

Finding confidence

Being a psychology major in college, I began to read and study books on overcoming fears and limitations. I began to face my fears and doubts by accepting speaking engagements and by volunteering in class. But my shyness still paralyzed me. I was offered a scholarship; however, I didn't even apply. One of my professors took notice. He put his arm on my shoulders and said, "You are your own worst enemy. You are one of the smartest students that I know, but you won't even try for the scholarship." I thought long and hard about his words and then took action. I applied for and was awarded the scholarship. This experience gave me the confidence to keep on trying.

What you can do to overcome shyness

First, believe that you are worthy and have something valuable to say and contribute. Second, surround yourself with friends and family that will provide you with emotional support. Finally, take action. You must take small steps at a time. Seek out information, books, tapes, and CDs on the subjects of personal growth and overcoming limiting habits. Two of my favorite books that will help you are: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and Personal Power by Anthony Robbin.

The changes will you see in your life

Once you have overcome your shyness you will affect people in amazing and astounding ways. People that once seemed distant in the past will want to get to know you, and ask for your company. You will attract people that will enrich your life for the better. You will not only feel good about yourself, goals, and future possibilities, but you will also feel good about others. Your whole physiology and self-talk with be positive and out-going. You must face your fears and doubts with confidence, or they will consume you and stop you from taking action. Know that you have greatness inside for the entire world to see.

Geary L. Smith, M.Ed. is a Qualified Mental Retardation Profession(QMRP) Coordinator, an assistant pastor, and motivational speaker. He has been a writer for 20 years with published stories, articles, and poems. Geary lives in Texas with his wife, Tonnette, and two daughters, Jessica and Somer and loves to write, play golf, and run. Geary welcomes your comments. He can be contacted at: smithgeary@yahoo.com..

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