Viatouch Teacher Articles
Psychology

The Art of Listening:
Counseling Teenagers

by Geary L. Smith

Teenagers have long been the central focus of psychologists, sociologists, and teachers for examining mental functioning, deviant behaviors, and educational research models. However, the complexities of teenagers---their thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, and visions are often times never truly understood. What is the role of the teenager's gender, economic, and racial backgrounds as it relates to their total development and the counseling process? From my experience in talking with teenagers, many with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorders, I feel that the primary message should be listening, not "scapegoating" and isolation.

The art of listening to teenagers involves seeing, hearing, and understanding things from their own unique perspectives. There is an old wise saying, "That to truly understand a person, you must first walk a mile in their moccasins." I do believe that although I can't alter the conditions of teenagers, especially those with particular disorders, I can counsel with them and teach them to thrive despite their unique challenges in life. The following are some listening and counseling tips that will help children, parents, teachers, and counselors learn to develop coping skills:

1. Listen to Emotions - Children must show themselves friendly, in order to make friends. Teach empathy, sympathy and compassion for others. It is in the process of feeling and caring for others that children build communication skills and support structures.

2. Listen to their Self-Image/Talk - Children must believe and have a good self-image of themselves, despite their disorders. Teach children to take good care of themselves by eating the right foods, exercising, and rest. Once children began to respect their own bodies, can they build comfort in talking with others.

3. Listen to their Goals and Outcomes in Life - Teach children to set goals and outcomes, both short and long term. Help them to understand that there is a larger goal in life. Reward each achievement obtained.

4. Listen to Changes - Teach children that change is a part of life. That nothing remains the same. They are evolving and maturing. Even in time of confusion, problems at school, or with friends, that there is always hope of a brighter future.

5. Listen to Parents - Learn to listen to family members of children in detention. I have discovered that understanding the family dynamics is crucial for counseling children.

6. Listen to their Routines - Listen to the child's routine: School, work, leisure time. How they spend time can reflect deeper issues that need to be addressed.

We should listen to children whenever we have the opportunity. When they have questions, we should answer them honestly and openly, with reassurance. We should help children make the right choices and develop into mature adults, especially when they face times of turmoil, pressure and hardships. As a society, we have a great responsibility in the development of our children, who are truly our future. As concerned parents, teachers, counselors, and medical professionals, we should all take an active part in every child's development.

The End

Married to Tonnette, Geary L. Smith has two daughters, Jessica and Somer. Mr. Smith has a B.S in psychology from Morehouse, M.Ed. Stephen F. Austin and is currently working as counselor/administrator in a juvenile center.

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