Viatouch Teacher Articles
Psychology

The Road Less Traveled

by Geary L. Smith

Being a former teacher, and now a juvenile counselor and administrator, I have witnessed a very strange, but somewhat familiar phenomenon in some of my former students and present clients. It reminds me of my childhood so many years ago---my mother's over-protection as I rode my bike or played outside. I remember wishing that my mother would go back inside the house and let me play, fall down, and get back up on my own. The phenomenon is rooted in well meaning. Maybe parents are trying to take all of the bumps and dips out of their children's road to adulthood. And, teachers are trying to reduce homework and simplify tests to fit the low limits and boundaries set by their students.

I distinctly remember as a senior in high school becoming a little angry and resentful at my bio-science teacher for giving me too long of a reading assignment, in addition to homework and research. However, little did I realize at that time that she was only preparing me for a college education and an even more strenuous course load. By allowing children to take the easy, smooth road to adulthood, instead of the road less traveled---one that is full of obstacles and hurdles--- parents have produced a state of dependency and sometimes total helplessness. That is why I am seeing children at an alarming rate, breaking down as they get older. They have not acquired the skills needed to cope with the problems that teenagers face.

According to the annual survey of counseling center directors, the severity of student mental health problems has risen since 1988. In the past, the most common complaint raised by children was dealing with relationships with their peers. But today, the most common problem for children is the inability to deal with the anxiety of growing older. Children with major depression and anxiety disorders are turning to other means such as drugs, alcohol, and tragically, suicide in coping and in dealing with life's challenges.

For teenagers who have never encountered difficulties or learned how to deal with hardships, adolescence can extend for years and years. Adulthood no longer begins when adolescence ends. The end result is trying to cheat adulthood by extending childhood forever, prolonging the need of dependency.

Advice for Parents and Teachers

Allow children and students time for simple free play. Allow them to learn the rules in play, relationships, and interacting with their environment.

Allow children to take some risks, independent of your watchful eyes. Have limits and explain what is a dangerous risk and healthy risk.

Refrain from labeling children at the first sign of failure and using discouraging language, such as "You will never be able to learn that…" Instead, help them understand that mistakes will happen, but don't have to be a major setback in life.

Peers are very important, but help and show your child and student appropriate adult behaviors.

The ultimate goal of child-rearing is the development into an independent and normal adult life. Help them to face deal with the challenges of adult life, with its pains, joys, excitement, rejections, disappointments, and possibilities.

The End

Married to Tonnette, Geary L. Smith has two daughters, Jessica and Somer. Mr. Smith has a B.S in psychology from Morehouse, M.Ed. Stephen F. Austin and is currently working as counselor/administrator in a juvenile center.

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